Why don't you...?
(fuck off)
Was a crap TV show, but these shirts look
great.
To make shirts use the following
instructions and above diagram. If you don't want to waste
ink click
here.
- It's very easy to make the CATB
(bastardised CND) symbol and put it on a shirt. So easy
that I managed it and got it to look good. First of all
go into your kitchen and locate a circular dinner plate
(not one of those shitty posh oval ones) then locate a
cereal bowl which is about 2-3 inches smaller in
diameter. Then locate a coffee mug, and a ruler or
straight edge. And a pen.
- Now find a cornflakes packet,
preferably the biggest one you can get - 1kg. Dispose of
the cornflakes in whatever way you see fit. You don't
really need a cornflakes packet, just a very big sheet of
thin cardboard. Check the diagram to clarify this. Draw
around the (upside down) dinner plate using your pen.
Then place the cereal bowl in the middle of the circle
and repeat the process. Use the ruler to draw the CND
lines, and the upside down mug to make it look like a paw
print. Makes Atomic Kitten's logo look shit don't you
think?
- Next, carefully cut around the shapes
using a knife or pair of scissors. If you don't cut the
whole thing to pieces (or if you have lots of sellotape)
you should be able to get a stencil and a carboard logo
out of a single side of the box.
Thanks to Fucktrumpet
for modelling.
- Now you need to go shopping, or raid a
jumble sale.
- Find the most hideous shirts possible.
Marmite brown, hideous snot green, vomit yellow. Charity
shops have plenty of this sort of thing, as very few
people ever buy them. Also buy some cheap rubber gloves.
Clutching your purchases under your arm as you ride the
bus home, think about where you can get some paint,
preferably white.
- Unlock the shed/garage, climb into the
loft. Everybody's parents have a can of paint somewhere.
The best sort for shirt painting is the stuff that dries
the thickest and stands out the most. I used brilliant
white matt emulsion, the sort of thing people use on
ceilings, and used it on the darkest shirts I could find.
You need also to get hold of a paint brush.
- Now find a flat surface, like the
floor. Lay out the shirt(s) on the surface. This is where
the cardboard comes into play. You can now choose between
a 'positive' and 'negative' logo if you kept all the bits
- whether the logo is made out of paint, or whether the
logo is the shirt but surrounded by paint. Arrange the
cardboard on the shirt.
- Put on your rubber gloves, and open
the paint. Give it a stir, as emulsions always separate
out. Dip your brush into the paint, get a great big blob
on it, and flick it at the logo to achieve a great
splatter effect. Repeat until satisfied. Bad news: the
shirt will probably take several days to dry with all
that thick paint on it, so it's best not to move it. The
good news is that you can remove the logos after about
three to four hours. Obviously these figures depend on
what sort of paint you use.
